Explosive Mouth
by Sister-Puce
Summary: Oneshot. A bizarre creature is hit by a car and Fringe agents are sent to investigate. Lincoln is disturbed by Walter's hijinks. The girls find a millipede in the sink. Walter/Lincoln WALLEE!


**Author's note**: This may be slightly crack-fic. I've been thinkin' about this for a while, but since Lincoln has gone away this is set around the first few episodes of season 4. The monster is a ZFT creation that they're showing off with but the way I see it in my mind is really spooky. Many thanks to Spike334 and Gooberpissp.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any rights to Fringe. Don't sue me.

**Pairing**: Lincoln Lee/Walter Bishop. Wallee!

**Rating**: T for silliness, some gory descriptions and dumb-assness.

* * *

**_Explosive mouth_**

* * *

**E**veryone had gathered around the body of a large, dead creature that was hit by a Volvo. It resembled a large, genetically altered canine. The skin and muscles of its face were missing all together and the rest of its hide was almost hairless, sooty and water-logged as if it had perished in a body of water, and thus become swollen but its stomach remained flat.

"So, Walter. Is this another product of your misplaced notes that got into the wrong hands?"

"No, I don't think so, Peter, but thanks for the vote of confidence," Walter answered shortly while lifting one of the abomination's long legs. He casually made the statement "Oh, look. It has a penis."

"Hallelujah!" His son thew up his hands sarcastically. Olivia just curled her lip. "Is this damage from the accident?"

"No, I don't think so," answered Walter. "It's as if the animal's exposed skull is natural. See, look at where the skin just seamlessly melds blends into the surface of the osseous."

"No, thanks."

"It's a masterpiece. I wish I had thought of it." Walter blissfully smiled. Lincoln pointed to the carcass with a gloved finger. "What? You think that somebody made this thing?"

"Oh, Yes. If it had been this way in the wild, it most likely would have died shortly after birth."

"Do you think it's ZFT, again?" Olivia interjected. Peter nodded and went to seek out Broyles, who was having an argument with someone over the phone.

When Walter touched its skull, it gave a little. Almost like cartilage but more pliable. Some kind of mucus coated it. Walter shook his head. "Poor thing must have been in constant pain." Pulling open its jaws, he watched a huge, white tongue loll out. That was enough for Lincoln, who decided to join Olivia in questioning the folks who drove the Volvo. Their names were Tolliver and Evans.

"You said it was chasing something?" She asked one of the two men.

"Yeah. Something small like a squirrel or a mouse or somethin'. I mean, When we hit it, it didn't... sound normal. Y'know. It didn't make a normal Thump..." Olivia just nodded at the driver and feigned a smile. The other man said, "But it did scream. I heard it. He didn't."

"Scream?" She asked. "Yeah. Almost like a woman. Gave me the creeps." Mr. Evens was telling the truth, she could see. Lincoln joined them when the driver asked, "What was that thing? We asked the those guys, but they wouldn't tell us."

"Uh. We don't know." Olivia shrugged. Lincoln politely cleared his throat. "Thank you, Mr... Uh..."

"Tolliver. And this is my partner, Kaleb Evans."

"Well, It was nice to meet you," Lincoln said and turned to go back to the creature but nearly smacked into Walter bishop, who had been sneaking at his side almost this whole time. "Whoa. Where'd you come from?" Lincoln nervously chuckled but Walter simply regarded him impishly. "Have you ever kissed a man, Agent lee?"

Lincoln could only stare in complete confusion. Olivia called him over to talk with Peter and Broyles, Lincoln slowly backed away.

* * *

In the Kresge building basement, Walter paced back and forth, gyrating now and then to Grace Jone's _My Jamaican Guy_ that played on the speakers. He's already performed the autopsy. The thing's intestines were white, which gave Walter a tickle. Astrid bopped away in the corner, searching something up on the computer, her curly locks bouncing. Lincoln stood in the doorway and surveyed the room for Olivia. No where to be seen. Astrid spotted him. "Oh, Hey, Lincoln. Come on in!"

"Um. Is Olivia here?"

"Nope. She'll probably be here in a minute, though."

"Okay." He cautiously stepped inside. Walter caught glimpse of him. "AH! Agent Lee! Good to see you. Care to dance?"

"Uh. No," he answered quietly and walked down the steps to eye the monstrosity. To his surprise, it's once bloated skin now sagged like a velveteen blanket had been thrown over it's skeleton. "What happened to it?"

"It appears that it's dried out, Heh? Must have needed moisture," Walter said, obviously a little high. Astrid yelled over the music. "THEY DON'T HAVE THEM IN BLUE. JUST YELLOW!"

"Oh,well. I suppose that will have to do." Walter acted defeated. Lincoln asked him what it was about and it titillated Walter to say "Astrid is ordering me a luxury tent. always wanted one."

"What does this have to do with the case?"

"Nothing," Bishop peeped. The door opened and Olivia came in. "Hello."

"Hey," Lincoln said shyly. She walked to the bathroom. "I'm just gonna freshen up."

"Okay." Lincoln ran a hand over his hair. "Astrid," Olivia called out from the restroom, "could you come here for a second?"

"Yep." Olivia was going to show her a millipede that she had just found in the bathroom sink. Lincoln sighed, alone with the madman. He turned about to see if he was hallucinating about the hair now growing on the carcass, when Walter grabbed his face and planted a big, wet one on him. "MMmwa!"

"UGH! AH! GOD!" Lincoln wiped his mouth ferociously with his sleeve. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"I've always wanted to know what it was like to kiss somebody with popping candy in my mouth. What did it feel like?" Walter innocently asked. Lincoln groaned. "It felt like a MAN!"

"Oh... so you didn't feel the popping?"

"NO!" Walter started coming toward him, saying "Well, Let's try it again."

"NO! NO WAY!" Lincoln recoiled. Bishop handed him an open packet of the candy and poured some into his own mouth. "Come on. Don't be such a prude. Have some."

"I don't like it."

"Don't like it?! Nonsense! It's cola flavored!"

"Okay. I'll take the candy but that's all." He poured some into his palm and threw it into his mouth, swishing it about. Walter accosted him swiftly, roughly kissing him and opening his mouth to let the candy rocks crackle over Lincoln's lips, which steadfastly refused to part. Walter remedied that by pushing his tongue through them, squirting the fizzing, sweet spit in. Lincoln gasped and gagged but before he could wrench the nutcase off, Astrid and Olivia returned from the bathroom with the millipede in a ziplock bag, witnessing the fiasco. Walter broke away with a giggle. "DEELIGHTFUL!"


End file.
